Hindi SMS Jokes


Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai? (my favorite)

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere laakhoon
rupaye fase huye hain.

Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as ‘Jo-Hua’, ‘So-Hua’

What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.

Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

FULL FORM OF GIRL:
G: Gossip mein sabse aage,
I: Innocent sirf shakal se,
R: Rone ki automatic machine,
L: Ladaayi mein sabki maa.

Guru Dutt is reborn and sets up a Software firm.
He makes a film, called ‘Software ke phool’.
Sahir Sahab likewise revises his old song for the new venture.

It goes like:

yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya,
yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya
yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya;
yeh Product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?

yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti
yeh basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti
yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti
yeh Review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?

har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek login pyaasi
excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi,
yeh office hai ya aalame microsoft ki
yeh Release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?

jalaa do ise, phoonk daalo yeh monitor mere saamne se
hataa daalo yeh modem tumhaara hai tumhi sambhaalo
yeh computer yeh Product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai?

Common lines after people get drunk…

1. Tu to Mera bhai hai…bhai !!!

2. You know i am not drunk…

3. Gaadi mein Chalaunga…

5. Tu bura mat maann bhai…

6. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu…

7. Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar….

8. Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya baat hai??

9. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai…

10. Ye mat samajh ki peeke bol raha hu…

11. Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee…

12. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae…lovely waala !!!

13. Baap ko mat Sikhao…

14. Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya…

15. Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna…

16. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye…Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

17. Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee…shart laga saala aaj tu..

18. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska…

19. Saale teri bhabhie hai wo…bhabie ki nazar se dekh usko…

20. Yaar tu samjha kar.. wo tere layak nahi hai…

21. chal bhai tu kah raha hai to tere liye chodh diya usko.. aaj se wo teri…bana issi baat par ek – ek aur peg !!!

22. Tujhe kya lagta hai chadh gayi hai… abhi ek full aur khatam kar sakta hun…

and the best one…

23. Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai

And Finally…

Salla… aajse daru band…….. …….!! !

There’s no abiding success without commitment.

Anthony Robbins

If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?

Harvey Fierstein

Losers make promises they often break.

Winners make commitments they always keep.

Denis Waitley

Desire is the key to motivation, but its determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal

— A commitment to excellence —

That will enable you to attain the success you seek.

Mario Andretti

Stay committed to your decisions and stay flexible in your approach.

Anthony Robbins

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment.

When you’re interested in doing something,

You do it only when circumstance permit.

When you’re committed to something,

You accept no excuses, only results.”

Art Turock

Page 29 of 31« First...2728293031

Our Privacy Policy recognizes that your privacy is important.