Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?

Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?

Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.

Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?

Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Napoleon: There is no such word as ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary.

Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi …!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.

Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.

Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?

Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.

Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado

Santa aage nahin bada

Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?

Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got

irritated… drank poison & said,

Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.

Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…

Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?

Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?

Doc: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a

wheel from ur auto?

Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only

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